Friday, January 20, 2012

Battling the Elements

REAL blogs, blogs like The Wannabe, post often and on a regular schedule.

Yeah, this blog isn't like that. Instead, I'll post when I find something interesting. Lucky for you, I've been joyriding around the paradoxical city of Las Vegas, burning up the fossil fuel and increasing my carbon footprint. This particular post cost $1.97 in valuable, dwindling fuel according to Road Trip America

I feel like many of you already know these things, but it's new to me, so hopefully there are one or two of you out there who will be able to use this information. 

I think it's important for me, as I prepare for the possible apocalypse, to better use the resources available to me in order to learn skills. To that end, I attended the Winter Camping Basics class at REI (bougie outdoor gear store that gives classes designed to get you to buy things) this evening. I attended the class with Miss Gokey, who thought the instructor was quite attractive. I tried to get her to flirt with him, but she refused. Since it was a free course, I don't feel bad about ripping off the content, adding my editorializing, and passing this gold on to you. I believe this is relevant to surviving the apocalypse in case we end up on the road in the winter-time. 

Like the copyright-wary social studies teacher that I am, I'll change the notes just enough to not get sued. 

The handout gives us ten essentials for winter camping: 
1) Navigation: know how to get where you're going. Map, GPS, compass, whatever you need to stay oriented. 
2) Sun protection: sunglasses and sunscreen. 
3) Insulation. 

#3 includes clothing: a base layer, an insulation layer, and outerwear. NO COTTON! Wool is the way to go. Personally, I recommend flannel pajamas! I'm partial to the sledding penguins, but that's just because my parents bought them for me for Christmas. 

4) Light: flashlight/lantern/headlamp + extra batteries
5) First-aid kit
6) fuego
7) repair supplies: knife/duct tape/trash bags

(You'd be shocked and weirdly pleased to know how useful trash bags and EXTRA trash bags can be.)

8) Food. Lots of food. Especially carbs. There were images of fancy camping stoves, but something about the idea of carrying a little canister of kerosene into the wilderness still freaks me out!
9) Water. While at the bougie store, I did pick up some Potable Aqua Chlorine Dioxide Water Purification Tablets, which kills Bacteria, Viruses and Cysts including Cryptosporidium. But I also learned that this steri-pen exists! The steri-pen is exciting because it uses batteries to channel UV rays that neutralize bad stuff in the water. It works, according to the "teacher" of the workshop, in the third world. Anything that prevents third world amoebas is alright with me! Haha. 
10) Tent, shelter, etc. 

One more note: 5,000 cubic inches in a backpack is "relative luxury." Just so you know. 

On that happy note, having taken up too much of your time already, I bid you adieu. 

Like a proper teacher, I have "taught" you the word bougie so that you can understand its contexts in posts of the near future. 

Thanks for reading, and remember, "the map is not the territory." 

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