Did Someone Say Popular Mechanics?

Yes, someone did. It was me. As part of my magazine problem, I noticed the bright orange cover, the ring buoy, and the large-typeface words "SURVIVAL SECRETS," and I couldn't resist.

I had flipped through the magazine previously and noticed the horrible idea of smearing a peanut butter pattern on your jack-o-lantern and letting the squirrel carve it. Below, by the way, previously seen by you on twitter if you follow me (@OriginalGeoTrix), is the image of the muffins that I made from Whipped the Blog. I planned to make the muffins during the writing of my previous post.

Anyway, I read the cover story during my prep hour while subbing for world history class at Griffith High School. The "Survival Secrets" article was basically a list of 20 superweirdo* ways to die, some of which I'd never heard of (low head dams, shallow-water blackout, "cliffing out?"). I decided I would share with you my personal top 10 favorites, and then you can decide for yourself whether you would like to buy the issue. 

Superweirdo* ways that people die, and how to avoid them

1. vending machines/don't let them fall on you. You may want to avoid them all together. 

2. jumping off a dock into electrified water. / Don't swim. Ever. (I call impractical on this one.)

3. riding ATVs on pavement, flipping over, getting crushed./Ride ATVs only on ATV trails. Personally, I will not be riding ATVs. 

4. lawnmowers./while mowing, do not mow sideways across a steep slope. Mow up and down the slope. 

5. falling from ladders and scaffolds/THREE POINTS OF CONTACT applies here, as well. Remember.

6. crossing a stream/DO NOT CROSS if you throw a stick into the water and it moves faster than you can comfortably walk. 

7. cutting down trees/do not chop trees that stand at an angle. Personally, I will not be cutting down trees. 

8. getting hit in the chest by baseballs./don't get hit in the chest by a baseball. 

9. falling out of a tree while hunting/use a harness. Personally, I won't be hunting. At least, I'm not planning on hunting. Never say never. 

10. generators./Don't use generators indoors or overnight, keep generators at least 20 ft from the house so that carbon monoxide doesn't seep in through the windows. 

Also...avoid riptides. 

#6 is my favorite. I never knew that (ok, I never knew any of these things), and I think it's the one I can apply most directly to my life. Well, #6 and #1. Which is your favorite? Do you have any other superweirdo* ways to die? 

*"superweirdo" is a word I either just made up, or just reclaimed. If anyone you know and love has perished in any of the ten ways listed above, I sincerely apologize. I do not mean that your loved one was a superweirdo, just that the way s/he died was out of the ordinary, or atypical, if you will. 

I am now preparing to go camping. As always, although I believe I have prepared and prepared for survival scenarios, when arriving at a campsite I become aware that I've forgotten something vital. 

Like the marshmallows. 

Hopefully that won't happen this time. Wish me luck.