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...or whatever that Latin phrase is that means "take up space" or "enter text here" or whatever it means...

That's what I saw today while I had to log onto blogger.com from my parents' computer, since on my laptop at home, my login info is defaulted in and I am automatically signed on. I deprived you of a Thursday post and will deprive you of a photo post today, so I thought I would consolidate, and hey, I might as well yell it one more time, for the last time: SPRING BREEEAAAK! It was awesome. Many thanks to all those who made it possible.

Now to talk to you about today's book review: How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack.
I gave this book to my dad as a gift for some holiday a year or so ago. It is hilarious because it contends that the yard gnomes of the world are planning an uprising to kill their owners (and all humans, actually) and take over the world.

Although silly, the book does offer practical advice like, "keep a manicured lawn." Yep yep.

I will now summarize chapter 7 for you as part of my thesis that the authors of this book wrote it to prepare people for the apocalypse, people who would never buy a book labeled, "Prepare for the Apocalypse."

Chapter 7 is "Ten Tips That Could Save Your Life" and discusses the importance of PRACTICING exiting a first-story window, memorizing room layouts so you can find your way around when the gnomes cut your power (less important, in my opinion, in the days of cell phones), and keeping a weapon in every room. Chapter 9 is "Your Arsenal." Weapons include yarn tools (shovels, rakes, pitchforks), hockey sticks, baseball bats, furniture, garden hose, pepper spray, sledgehammer, firearms, land mines, "your body," and using gnomes to attack other gnomes. So, keeping a weapon in every room is easy when the term "weapon" is used loosely.

Again, practice makes perfect, and the book recommends practicing getting out of bed in attack mode. Keep floors and counters clutter-free (see how this book would be good for your favorite teen or messy roommate?), being prepared with a bicycle in case your car gets disabled, and...not yelling.

So, that's that. A less-than-one-page manual for surviving disasters in the category labeled "other."

And now, without further ado, Happy Easter. Onward to Memorial Day.