Already in Progress

On a serious note, this morning a student member of my Zombie Apocalypse Team (don't be fooled by the hyperlink - my student isn't any of these famous people) came in absolutely freaking out. "Miss! How do we know when Judgement Day (we hate wikipedia but we love art!) will happen!?!?" He blathered nonsensically about the Three Horsemen ("There are four horsemen, honey," I said) and was not necessarily what I would call tranquil and having a mind in a state of readiness for finishing the novel we are reading, Schooled. 

I decided that he needed counseling of a variety the school counselors were not exactly equipped to provide. So I sat him down for a chat and calmly explained to him that he needn't be worried about something that may or may not happen at any given time, and that he would do better to concentrate on things that are within his control. I then reminded him that I am unqualified to give spiritual advice, and urged him to consult with his spiritual leader in matters like these. I tell this story to congratulate myself on what I feel was a living-up-to my New Year's Resolution 2012: Be Useful. 

Please know that in my six years of teaching, >1 student has come to me freaked out about the possible end of the world. 

So, since I didn't get to come home and blog today between the end of my normal work day and the beginning of the 6th annual awards night that I have survived, I decided to get some blog fodder. I went to Aliante Station and watched the first part of Battleship. By "the first part," I mean that I had to walk out on the exciting conclusion (during a particularly heartwarming moment, BTW). I OFFICIALLY hated the movie, but that isn't why I walked out. I had time anxiety and was scared of missing the beginning of tonight's awards. 

I love most of the leading cast members, so all's well. As you may know, Friday Night Lights is both one of my favorite TV shows and one of the things I miss the most about my former life. 

Which brings me to my newest call to action. OK. It was a matinee, I get that. But I was alone in the theater with just three other people. How do we as a society expect to lead this world (or any other) through an apocalypse if we can't even get off our lazy butts and participate in the part of civic life that consists of munching nachos in the dark while staring at a larger-than-life screen in a squishy chair the size of our loveseats at home? *end of rant*

Aliens. They don't even have a place on the Doomsday Dashboard. I went ahead and made a little chart of what Battleship can teach us Apocalyptically, anyway. 

The Good	The Bad	The Ugly
Acquire courage or get a prosthetic leg inserted where the sun don’t shine.	Assume the aliens intend harm to humans.	Hair.
When some otherwordly weapon is flying at your friend’s face and your friend freezes, pick your friend up and drag them to safety.	Shoot first and ask questions later.	Srsly, think about what you’re doing to your hair.
Learn about the way that someone from another culture does things, and if they know more than you, let them take the lead.
If there are any old people hanging around looking proud and stoic, recruit them to your cause with a heartwarming speech.

I may in fact go back and see the movie again, waiting until about an hour in and then slipping into a seat for the dramatic climax. I can't be a plot ruiner because I didn't see the ending, but I predict with full confidence, as in every contest between alien invaders and the American Military, the good guys will win. 

Let's hope so. 

In the meantime, I will now continue my regularly-scheduled Thursday night date with the Winchester Brothers, in a world where the outcome is much more precarious than anything the Hoebers wrote for the cinema audience.