The Skills to Pay the Bills

Here's my theory about buying things: if you want it for a really, really long time and the day comes when you walk past it in the store and pick it up, you will not suffer buyer's remorse. Buyer's remorse is for impulse purchases, like an extra four boxes of Girl Scout cookies. It is in this spirit that I do not regret last Sunday's purchase.

You see, I've been spending a lot of time reading books and magazines and watching tv, when the actual purpose of this blog was to document my building a skill set for the apocalypse. I'm looking for a way to produce trade items and/or things to keep myself alive when the grid goes down for good. 

When I was a tweenager, I taught myself to juggle three tennis balls by reading a book. I was thinking of that, and my longtime desire to have one, when I picked up the Learn to Knit Kit at JoAnn whilst I was waiting for David's Bridal to open so that I could get some swatches as I plan my bridesmaid outfit for Ace and Jodi's wedding. True, if David's Bridal had been open when I arrived at 10:30 instead of keeping its doors locked till noon, I would not own the Learn to Knit Kit. But things being as they are, I was unwilling to spend the $4.16 + punitive damages of driving home and coming back later. 

ANYWAY...The question my loyal readers should be asking themselves now is, "SingleGirl, are you training for the apocalypse or training for retirement, with your aspiring-to-knit ways???" Now anyone who has seen the results of my Super Saturday attempts knows that I am the opposite of crafty. But anyone who knew me back on my 30th birthday, when I kayaked in the Colorado River, knows that I am also self-aware. So I also purchased a book called Learn to Knit in Just One Day. I chose Monday. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and suggest that the title of the book be changed to "Learn to Knit in Just One Year," unless it's a very, very long day!

Good thing I bought that book. The Learn to Knit Kit speaks in knitting language and does not provide translation. It's a very entertaining kit. You know how little kids color with GIANT crayons and write with GIANT pencils to develop their motor skills? Well, the kit includes GIANT knitting needles and GIANT yarn. They are pictured here with Amanda's regular-sized needles because that's right, folks...knitting is NOT just a retirement hobby! In fact, it's all the rage with the my-age DIY/etsy set. I am in fact behind the hipster curve in my demographic.

While watching the Medici miniseries on Netflix, I was able to successfully "cast on" 24 stitches, destroy them, and do it again. Twice. As for knitting and purling, well...

...it's three days later, and I haven't gotten there yet. But I'll try again now. And I will post photos of my sure-to-be hilarious results in an upcoming post on some other day. I anticipate that any income I might earn from knitting in the futuristic dystopia will not be enough to pay for the yarn for more knitting. So, for now I will plan on supplementing my knitting earnings by making deals with people who have fruit: if I can keep three pieces of your fruit in the air juggling them for ten minutes, I get to keep and eat them.

Where there's a will, there's a way!
Wish me luck.