Resolved: Not Just a Carpet Cleaner

Last year, I was proud of my good New Year's Resolution: Be. Here. Now.

I followed through on my resolution until about the first week of March, when it suddenly turned into: Get. Out. Of. Here. Immediately. If. Not. Sooner.

My revised resolution for 2011 didn't work out as well as the original one. I'm thinking about what my resolution should be for 2012, the year when the world might supposedly end.

It's something I've been walking around trying to do since around the first week of March, and now I'll make it official by putting it in writing: Be. Useful.

And I'll end with a "pithy quote" from George Bernard Shaw on the topic:

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."

Good luck with those resolutions, loyal readers!

Notes on Misc.

That's Buddy with the Abominable Snowman, Rudolph, and... ...ahem... an anonymous lumberjack?

Merry Christmas.

I don't remember when or where I heard the following story, or whether it's true, but I'm reminded of it today: Once upon a time, a man wanted to convert to Judaism. He went to the synagogue and asked the rabbi to give him instructions on how to convert. The rabbi refused him and told him that conversion was too hard, that he would never really do it, and that he should go home. The man stayed outside the synagogue gate for three or four days in the elements. Finally, the rabbi let him in, saying that the first step in conversion is to prove your seriousness/sincerity. Most people give up and go home. They don't really want to convert.

It's silly of me to think of this story because a very simple web form that I should be able to fill in quickly as I court a certain potential employer WILL NOT let me finish. It freezes, therefore disabling my whole machine. Like the successful convert, though, I will prevail. After all, in exactly a week, the year that is supposed to end the world will begin.

Now is no time to be a wuss.

Santa brought me lots of tools to use to prepare myself for impending doom, but that's another story for a different blog.

Patience, perseverance, and the Panama Canal.

Those are the lessons that 2011 has delivered to me, mostly via ABC-CLIO.

I will be back to expound on other lessons as the week unfolds. Perhaps after I have finished some more fruitcake.

Attack of the Gigantor Ornament Women!!!

I only wish the camera on my phone was slightly better...

Attack of the Gingerpeople!

Me, looking irrationally thrilled about cookie decorating...

1st gingerperson ever! Ugly, but delicious!

Oh no! A maiming accident!

Happy Holidays

I'm not sure when during the past six years Russian Carrot Pie became my traditional Thanksgiving dish of choice, but it did.

This year's carrot pie was an epic fail, all soggy and runny and, as Granny would say except true this time, "not fit to eat." It was a good thing Krista was busy cooking all afternoon so that I didn't starve on the year's most thankful of days, on which I was thankful for many things including the opportunity to eat a good dinner and learn a good new game called "Bite the Bag," which is exactly what it sounds like.

I am also thankful for my shiny new passport, my renewed teaching license with the TESL endorsement, the little turkeys that my students colored and wrote notes on for me, and I'm also thankful for Black Friday.

When the alarm went off at 4 a.m. yesterday morning, I muttered, "yeah, right," rolled over and went back to sleep. But by 6:30 I was standing in line at the K-Mart, along with what seemed like the rest of the entire populace of the Las Vegas metro area although I'm sure that's not true, with my one little Lupe Fiasco CD. My only Black Friday purchase is in fact this gift from myself and Miss Gokey for Mr. Demetrius Johnson. Of course I purchased it at K-Mart to support the personal economy of my favorite former student, who works in electronics there.

Today I put up the little socialist tree, so named because, before Jeff fixed it last year, it leaned severely to the left. This year it leans ever-so-slightly to the right, but it will still be socialist to me, because "moderate Republican Christmas tree" just doesn't have the same ring to it. I enjoyed putting up the tree, although I did miss Jeff and Jodi, who have been here the past two years to cheer me on when I decided that the 2004 tinsel would stay in the box, or the tree wouldn't have any ornaments on it, or the angel topper would stay in her plastic sleeve because she is, as they say, a falling angel.

I haven't sent any cards yet, but I am feeling in the Frango-minty holiday spirit, so I look forward to doing that soon. The cards have arrived from Syracuse Cultural Workers and are better than I'd hoped they'd be. I absolutely have to wait until Morgane Guillou's present arrives in the mail, however. Amazon promises that it will be here by Wednesday, November 30, so if I have your mailing address, start looking for your holiday cards sometime early the week of December 5!

Morgane sent me a long letter and a CD in the mail, so I promised myself she would be my first card this year.

In the meantime, rather than waste your time rambling on as a procrastination strategy to avoid grading tests, I'm going to go...grade tests. I'm NOT going to shoot cartoon zombies, I'm NOT going to shoot cartoon zombies, I'm NOT going to shoot cartoon zombies...until after I've graded some tests.

"Some" is a very subjective word. No zombies right now. Instead...tests. Really. I mean it. Haha.

Happy Holidays 2011!!!

Jive Turkeys!

www.adoptaturkey.org

Highly Experimental "Video (Read: Photo Slideshow)" Insert!

Let's see if THIS works!